I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
