i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drunk is not a location!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
