I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
