I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
