i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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