I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
