we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
