Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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