We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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