JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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