He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
