Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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