He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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