Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
