the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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