you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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