u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
