haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
