Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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