The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
