were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
