i think my mom watched the whole time
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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