Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize