when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize