In the future we'll all be gay
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
