no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i think i just lost a toe
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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