A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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