Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
