OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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