Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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