doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
