I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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