I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
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You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
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I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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