i just wanna soil my oats bro
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize