also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
