The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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