Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
They are going to name an STD after you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
