btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
