i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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