I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have post one night stand depression
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