we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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