My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
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That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
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Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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