Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i dont even know how to be here
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
