the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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