he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
