Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
