Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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