i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize