MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
