I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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