i was born a porn star she said
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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