wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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