are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize