The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
