Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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