A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
