if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize