How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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