you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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