Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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