i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I had to cum in my sink.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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