had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
