the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize