Fuck appropriateness.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
